Category: About Camp

Camp is just a few months away and, by now, your children are most likely counting down the days until it begins. But as the beginning of summer approaches, you may be feeling a bit anxious about your child going to camp for a few weeks. Many parents experience “kid-sickness” (a phrase coined by child, adolescent, and family therapist Bob Ditter), when they have trouble separating from their children as they go to camp. Keep in mind these are natural feelings to have. Here are a few ways parents can help themselves cope with separation and ensure that their children have a wonderful time at camp.

Focus On The Positive, Not The Negative: Sure, you’re going to miss your child when he or she goes to camp, but remember the reason you chose to send your child to camp. You want to give your child the opportunity to build character, gain independence, and have fun in a caring environment. It is important for parents to share positive messages about summer camp. If your child senses that you are uneasy about him going to camp, it may influence how he feels about going. “What kids look for is the look in their parents’ eyes,” Ditter explains. “Are they afraid, worried, upset? They interpret the look in one or two ways. There is something unsafe or scary in the world, and I can’t go out and feel confident. Or, my leaving is too hard on my parents, so I need to stay and take care of them. Parents need to be aware of that and to be clear about the gift they are giving their kids: not camp, but that they will be ok in the world.”

Adjusting To Camp: Remember that kids adjust to a new experience and a new environment before parents get used to the next stage of development. Before your child leaves for camp, don’t make pick-up deals and offer to rescue your child from camp. Instead, offer positive encouragement that you know he or she will have a successful summer. “Although I was nervous about my son going to camp, I was very conscious to keep things upbeat and positive before he left,” says Jill Smith, parent of a 9-year-old first-time camper. “We talked about what I had loved about camp as a child, and my husband spoke with him about the possibility of homesickness and that it was a normal feeling to experience while away.”

Limit Calls To The Camp Office: While your child is at camp, try to abstain from calling the camp director with every thought or worry you may have about your child. When your child is at camp, allow him or her to solve their own problems or ask a counselor for help. “If a parent is getting a mommy or daddy funny feeling in the pit of their stomach, then by all means feel free to give the camp a call,” says Jeff Grabow, owner and director of Camp Echo, a coed sleepaway camp in Burlingham, NY. “Any camp worth their weight should be happy to look into your concerns. It’s important that the parent asks themselves if the feeling is concern for their child, or just missing their little person. If the staff in the office knows you by the sound of your ‘hello,’ you might be calling a bit too much.” Keep in mind that camp directors have your child’s best interests in mind and the skill to guide your child towards an appropriate level of independence, self-confidence, and success.

Online Photos: Many camps post hundreds of daily camp photos online to give parents a window into a camper’s life at camp. These pictures can be a great way to see all the activities your campers are doing. “I will admit, I checked the photos every day, once or twice a day,” says Akta Menon, whose daughter was at sleepaway camp for her second year this past summer. “My daughter’s letters were always very brief, so, if not for the pictures, I would have no idea what she was up to.” But these photos can also exacerbate any worries a parent may be having. “While camp photos are a wonderful way for parents to get a peek into a child’s summer activities, it is not uncommon for parents to scrutinize these pictures,” Grabow says. “The key is not to focus too much on an individual picture. No child walks around with a perma-grin, so don’t panic if they are not smiling in a picture.” Doug Katz, owner and director of Camp Lakota, a coed sleepaway camp in Wurtsboro, NY adds: “My advice to parents is to please take the pictures with a grain of salt and always know that the camp staff is watching over your child 24/7. If anything is truly wrong, you will be contacted right away.”

You’ve Taught Them Well: Feel confident that you have taught your child well and everything you instilled in him or her will stay intact while at camp. Separation from you will give your child confidence and the ability to problem-solve without your help.

Long Distance Communication: Many sleepaway camps allow for scheduled phone calls during the summer. “Phone calls can be great, however, the sound of a family member’s voice can throw even the best and most successful camper into a temporary tailspin,” Grabow says. “Keep the conversation light and tell the child how proud you are of them for being a camper. It is ok to miss your child, just try to avoid letting your child know how desperately you miss them or what a great time you are having at home.” If you receive a discouraging phone call or a letter from your child, remember that, like any new experience, adjusting to camp may take a few days and that severe homesickness is rare.

Camp Gives Parents A Break: Camp is also a chance for parents to have a break from the playdates, cooking and homework help. It’s also a great time to take a vacation, spend more time with your spouse and friends, or have some one-on-one time with a child still at home. “I have one child at sleepaway camp, and a younger one still at home. We were able to focus on doing activities our younger daughter loved to do for a few weeks.” Menon says. Ditter adds that it’s important for parents to have a life outside of their children. “Kids need to know that their parents have their own separate, successful life without the kids or then why would they need to grow up? It’s good for them to see their parents with their own friends, going to the club, going to dinner, and playing tennis. As a kid, they want to know that if their parents are helping them to grow up, that there is something happy at the end of growing up,” he says.

As difficult as it may be for you to let your child go to camp, you are giving your child an opportunity to build confidence, gain resiliency, grow more independent, and try new activities. Try to keep this in mind if you become anxious at the thought of your child leaving for camp or while your child is there. “When my son went to camp for a month, I missed our sweet family of four,” Smith adds. “But our son had the time of his life and asked to go back the day we brought him home. He came home a different child—mature, responsible, empathetic, and confident. He also appreciated us more. His hugs have been more frequent and tighter, his room is a little neater, and his friendships are deeper.”

By:
Jess Michaels

Guest blog by Anne Archer Yetsko
When I Googled the phrase “middle school,” two of the top hits were “Middle school survival” and “Middle school: the worst years of my life.” I found that to be a pretty good depiction of how most people feel about this slightly (or not so slightly) traumatizing and awkward period of life. There are a few key aspects of the camp experience that are really beneficial for this age group.
Camp gives your middle schooler:
1. An Identity: Kids need an identity. Middle schoolers are defined by their looks, material stuff (cool shoes, backpack, gaming devices), parents, grades, and their athleticism. Camp allows kids to be known for being a great archer, team player, cannonball jumper, friend, kayaker, s’more maker, table setter, frog catcher, and much more. This list is endless. When a kid walks onto a camp property they get to choose their identity. WOW! Where else in life does that happen? A few years ago we had a girl come to camp who decided she wanted to go by “Phyllis” at camp. She had always liked the name and she wanted people to call her Phyllis. Camp even allows you to change your name if you want to!
2. An Emotionally Safe Environment: Our middle schoolers need a supportive environment where they can mess up and it’s ok. They need somewhere they can miss the bulls-eye and no one laughs. Instead, their friends give them pointers on how to do better next time. Camp provides this.
3. A Chance to Be a Kid: We live in a world that forces children to grow up entirely too fast. Our kids need a chance to be kids. They need to make s’mores, ride horses, shoot a bow and arrow, dress silly, eat candy, paint pictures, play games, and go on adventures.
4. An Opportunity to Be Outside: Our kids live in a world where they never have to go outside, and that world scares me. Our kids need to get dirty, make forts, swim in lakes, and catch fireflies. There are hundreds of articles and books out there about “the nature deficit” in children. To grow emotionally, physically, and mentally, kids need time outside. As our addiction to phones, computers, tablets, and video games grows, it has never been more important for kids to have substantial time away from these things.
5. True Friends: There is something about people living together, working together, playing together, and overcoming challenges together that creates friendships that are intense and long lasting. They are also different from school friendships that can often end on a whim and are just as often filled with drama. Knowing they have a safety net of “camp friends” makes the emotional rollercoaster of middle school more bearable.
6. Mentors: Kids need people other than their parents to invest in them. They need positive role models to look up to. Camp provides children with amazing, college-age students who truly care about them and want them to be the best version of themselves. Kids need people to teach them how to make friends, how to handle conflict, and how to be a good sport. They also need to know that there are other people out there who struggled through middle school who are now thriving. When their counselor tells them that seventh grade was also a really hard year for them, it gives them hope that life will not always be as difficult as it is in seventh grade.
7. A Bigger Picture: Our preteens need to know that the world is bigger than their middle school, hometown, or even state. They need to know that when it feels like their world is crumbing around them in the halls of their school that their life is not limited to that place. They have friends in Florida and Louisiana, and counselors in Georgia and New York, and a camp in the mountains of western North Carolina.
I believe that kids today need camp more than ever, especially middle school kids. These preteens and newly-teens need to learn who they are and what they are great at in an emotionally safe and supportive environment that pushes them to play outside and grows their sense of adventure.
Anne Archer Yetsko is the associate director of Camp Merri-Mac in Black Mountain, North Carolina. She has worked for Merri-Mac for twelve years and is also a recent graduate Touro University’s Camp Administration and Leadership Master’s Program. This blog was originally posted at www.merri-mac.com/2014/01/7-reasons-middle-schooler-needs-camp/.

Since Junior’s birth, you’ve been socking away savings from every paycheck to ensure he has money for college. After all, that’s what responsible parents do, right? Making sure he has the education to prepare him for the workforce, to care for himself and his family…?

When he leaves for college, your heart swells with pride, hope… and a little trepidation. Will he do well? Is he ready for all that freedom? Will he make the most of your investment?

Two semesters later, he comes home whipped, defeated, demoralized. While he had the grades to get into that Ivy League college, he didn’t have the life skills to succeed.

There’s more to preparing for adulthood than academic education. I believe if kids spent their summers in camp, they’d be better prepared for later decisions like whether to go to college, and how to make the best life for who they are.

Kids, especially teens, need mentors they trust, separate from their parents. These role models provide guidance and help them prepare for their adult lives by helping them lay the foundation now.

I started camp as a 10-year-old, and didn’t stop till I was in my 20s. Though many may view this as parents getting rid of kids for the summer, my parents told me it was an investment to set me up to be a more independent, confident person. They were so right.

Camp taught me how to grow up. It taught me to take responsibility, and the importance of meaningful relationships in life. Before I started attending camp I had friends, but no significant relationships that I viewed as important. In fact, I had no idea what that even meant.

I didn’t need to be “cool” at camp. It was the first place I could truly be myself, and was accepted for who I was. In fact, I felt pretty damn cool for the first time. My self-esteem was boosted, my confidence increased, and I learned about investing myself in things that matter.

An interesting thing happens at camp when kids are taken out of their usual environment. The rules change. Everything changes. Authenticity is rewarded. Responsibility is cool. Maturity adds clout. If it weren’t for camp, I would never have been ready for college, which led to graduate school, and the mentoring career I enjoy now. It was a natural progression that began in camp.

As a camp counselor, I learned the importance of putting attention on others. The older I grew, the more I learned to be at camp for the campers, rather than for myself. As I grew as a camp counselor and worked with the kids, my personal development transformed as I spent time with them to give them a meaningful, significant experience that wouldn’t go away. It changed me… and it changed them. As my focus turned away from myself and I became focused on others, well, that was a huge piece of the growing up process.

Without this type of experience, kids often flounder through their teens and early twenties, unsure how to:

• Choose valuable friends
• Make decisions for their lives and
• Have the confidence to pursue their dreams.

For me, camp was a big group of mentors I looked up to, who gave me amazing advice, guided me on my journey, taught me lessons about growing up, showed me the importance of meaningful relationships, and, most important, how to find them.

Through my development in the camp experience, I learned how to leave camp and go back to school and find valuable friends. By the time I was in high school I had learned how to surround myself with people who would bring the most value to my life. I wasn’t born with this important skill.. .I learned it at camp.

Kids need to learn how to develop this skill at a young age. To choose the people they put around them who will help them in their own development, push them to be successful, take chances, and show them how to be a good friend.

A moment stands out most in my memory as to the impact it had on my life. In fact, it plays a big part in how I work with teens in my practice today.

I was 16 and learning to be a camp counselor. This meant I needed to grow up and take responsibility, but I didn’t know how. At one point, the assistant director sat with me and asked me how my summer was going. I told him I was having a great time. He then proceeded to ask me several questions that would change the course of my life.

“How is the summer for your campers?” he asked. “Who’s struggling? Are you able to pay enough attention to notice where you need to focus? Why do you think you continue coming to camp?”

Then the last question, which changed me forever:

“What is it you want your campers to have at the end of the summer that they don’t have now?”

I’d never thought this way before. From that moment, I set out to work with campers in a completely different way. I was determined to help them have the experience they were looking for. I would ask them all, “What is it you want to have at the end of the summer?”

One kid told me he always wanted to make it to the top of the climbing wall. So, we worked on it little by little, inch by inch, and the last day of camp he made it and was on top of the world. I have no doubt to this day, when he struggles with something difficult, he looks back on that summer, the work he invested, his determination… and his success.

Whether your child has the funds to go to college or not, his future growth and management of life depend on how he’s living today. Sometimes I think we as parents forget what’s important now. We’re so focused on what is necessary later, we don’t realize we need to set our kids up now to have the skills to live later.

So, saving funds for college is important, but saving for camp each year can really change a life. Let’s let our kids decide if college is important to them when the time comes. Let’s give them the tools necessary for them to make the decisions that will catapult them forward.

Give them the gift of camp.

If you wonder why I’m posting this at the end of summer rather than the beginning, here’s why:

The new school year is beginning. You have nine months to save for next year’s camp. Make it happen for your child’s future success.

Session two ended this evening. We had our final day of color war, banquet, and closing camp fire. We managed to squeeze everything in between the rain drops. Session two flew by and left us with great memories.

The schedule for today is intense! This morning we will have our majors for the last time. Majors will be getting points for their respective teams no mater what drill or scrimmage the coaches have prepared for them. GO HAWKS! GO HEAT!

During rest hour captains will meet with their teams to sign up for the WACKED UP RELAY. This is the final event of color war. It takes place tomorrow morning and in past years has determine the winner of color war. A lot of strategy and team work is involved right down to the final event….. the pie eating contest. Stay tuned for more news on this major event tomorrow.

After rest hour today Rookies have basketball then ultimate cricket. Professionals will compete in flag football and capture the flag. Seniors will be on the pitch and then compete in dodge ball.

The games have begun. Red team better known as the Heat and black team the Hawks. Wasting no time the games started as soon as color war broke last evening. Rookies, Pros’s and Seniors each had their own dodge ball game.

This morning campers had no trouble finding something red or black to wear. They were pumped and ready for Sr. basketball, Rookie flag football, and Pros’s on the pitch. Winning is only a part of color war. Good sportsmanship and fair play can add or subtract points in any game. This afternoon was track and field. Camper’s signed up for the event they wanted to compete in. They did everything from a football toss to a tug of war. Plenty of cheering and fun was had by all.

Last but not least counselors had there own tug of war veterans against new staff. Guess who won??

Camp was very quiet today. Three buses pulled out at 9 a.m. headed to Fun Town Splash Town. The boys had a great time….can’t decide which park they had the most fun in ?!?!

Little do they know we have a big surprise for them upon their return——

COLOR WAR WILL BREAK……. How will it break?? At the end of a scavenger hunt.

We are now in our final week, but still with so much more to do before our final campfire and banquet.

As always the coaches were innovative and campers got the most out of their majors. Soccer and hockey were getting the puck and ball into the net. At baseball Coach Mike had a pitching radar that let the boys know their speed. Over all the boys had less drills and majors were a little looser.

The top 4 teams in the BSC League had a dodge ball elimination after dinner. Winner has a pizza party! I heard cheering and shouting coming from the gym. Campers challenged counselors to a dodge ball game. They split one game a piece. I’m sure they are going to want to do a tie breaker!!

All campers then headed to the Players Lounge for……. make your own sundae. A perfect way to end the day.

Lazy Bones Sunday at BSC means breakfast is served from 9-10. Our thirteen and under boys left for Kingswood for some basketball competition. Another victory for BSC! Seniors went to Michah for a tennis tournament and there was free play till lunch. Campers had everything open and available to them… including the lake.

Lunch was cold cuts including tuna and chicken salad. Also a complete salad bar. Camper made their own sandwiches with choise of roll, bread or wraps. I saw some very creative lunches. After rest hour we had our BSL (Bridgton Sports League) campers played cricket, capture the flag, dodge-ball, kickball, and ultimate Frisbee. This league has been on going since week one. We’re anxiously waiting to see what team finishes in first. It’s a tight race.

After two rounds Rookies all played new comb, Seniors played football and the Pros put on long sleeves for broom ball on the ice. It was a fun way to spend the day after a week of majors and structure.

The chaperoned CIT’s were given the night off. Dinner and a movie. They work hard and this will be a nice break.